I have been caring for my infant granddaughter for the past several months while her mother, my daughter is working. She is now 6 months old and beginning to develop a really cute personality. Actually I thought her personality was evident from the day she was born. She let it be clear from the beginning that she was the boss. When I hold her in my arms as I'm rocking her to sleep I feel an over powering love for her. It's the same love I felt for my own 4 infants as I rocked them many years ago. As it surges through my heart and veins I'm wondering if they can feel the love over the distance. I asked my younger son who is now 20 if he could feel my love coming to him through the love I was expressing for my granddaughter. I wasn't surprised to hear him say "Yes Mom, I can feel it". He is such a passionate person. I knew he would not think his mother was crazy.
Grandchildren bring out something very special in us. I can't really put my finger on it. I think it's too complex to put into words. Whatever it is, it has opened a whole new realm of feelings in me. It's like it has awakened something in me. Instead of feeling old because I'm a grandmother, I feel young again. It's like I have discovered the fountain of youth. I am ignoring the aching joints and dry skin. I'm thinking maybe it's the "feel good hormone", serotonin. It seems to be surging. Perhaps it's because we have such unconditional love for each other.
I respect that she is a baby and can only make her needs known by frowns, grunts and screams. I try so hard to read her "language". When she bites me with those two new bottom teeth and tears at her blankets with them she is letting me know her little gums are really bothering her. She is a good sport though and quickly finds something to distract her. When I let her know it hurts by giving a little squeal myself, she looks at me in surprise and then smiles. When we are sitting for too long or she is laying on the floor she arches her little back and yells at me to pick her up. If we are sitting together she pulls my blouse and yells or sometimes pushes on my chest, indicating she wants me to get up and move! She loves to be carried around at eye level on her little perch the "Baby Nari" http://www.babynari.com/ ...which by the way is the best investment my daughter ever made. It allows me to hold her for hours as we clean the kitchen, prune roses, water the dogs or cook dinner. As I sway back and forth all over the house her little body moves in sync with mine. She is absorbing everything I'm doing and never uttering a sound sometimes falling asleep mid stride! She is a light sleeper and I find myself rocking her and myself to sleep morning and afternoon. When she wakes from a long nap she is in such a sweet talkative mood. I'm not sure what she is saying but it usually starts with something that sounds like, "hi!" From there she gurgles some of the sweetest sounds which certainly are sounds of approval and pleasure. This mood lasts about 2 hours before it's time to nap again. She has not learned patience for receiving her bottle yet. She wants it on demand and I do mean on demand!
As I'm leaving for home in the evenings it's not easy making an exit. I hate parting with her. When I return on Monday mornings after three days away from her I can see the progress she has made in development in such a short time. Her back and arms are stronger. She is more aware and communicative. I can't wait to get her in my arms and give her a squeeze again!
I would like to think that when she is grown she will remember our days together. Even though she gets much love and attention from her parents, I hope she will know that there was an old lady that loved her unconditionally. I hope somehow this love will make an indelible impression on her life!
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